In today’s article, I’m explaining 10 reasons why narcissists will block, go no contact, and then unblock you over and over again. It’s a game of power that narcissists often play to assert dominance in relationships by creating a cycle of confusion and emotional turmoil. This tactic keeps you second-guessing, destabilizes your emotions, and keeps you off balance psychologically, ensuring that they maintain the upper [Music] hand.
If you appreciate my content, please help me out by commenting, subscribing, and hitting the notification bell. Okay, so let’s jump right in on why a narcissist will block and unblock you repeatedly.
Number 1: They Think You’re the Narcissist.
Narcissists will project their narcissistic traits, tendencies, and behaviors onto others, thinking that you are the one exhibiting the toxic behaviors. This projection allows them to deflect blame and maintain their own flawless self-image. By blocking you, they avoid confronting their own issues, believing that they are simply protecting themselves against you. But then, sooner or later, they unblock you because either they are not getting enough supply and validation from other people, or they might be testing if they can get your attention back whenever they want.
Number 2: Power and Control.
Narcissists block people as a symbol of power and dominance. By blocking you, they assert their position in the relationship, making it clear that they hold the power to decide how this relationship will play out and ensuring it’s always on their terms. By blocking you, you feel powerless and uncertain about the status of the relationship, while they simultaneously reaffirm their need to dictate the terms of the relationship at all times. Then, they will unblock you to see if you’re still willing to play their game, and if you re-engage, it gives them the opportunity to restart the cycle of manipulation, reinforcing their perceived superiority and control over the relationship dynamics.
Number 3: To Maintain Victim Stance.
In the case of a covert narcissist, they will block you and go no contact while engaging in a smear campaign against you to preserve their victim identity and draw sympathy from others. But later, they will unblock you to see if you are still affected by their absence, and then they’ll shape a new narrative where they were misunderstood or abused. Because they’re so kind and generous, they will give you another opportunity to redeem yourself.
Number 4: To Punish You.
A narcissist will block you as a punitive measure to retaliate when they feel slighted or disrespected, whether it’s justified or not. Blocking you serves to retaliate against you and inflict emotional pain and confusion, which elevates their sense of significance. It’s a way for them to punish you for whatever insult or harm they perceive you to have inflicted on them. But then they will unblock you to check whether you’ve learned your lesson and to get validation that their punishment did indeed have the desired effect of creating confusion and emotional distress for you.
Number 5: To Provoke an Emotional Reaction.
Narcissists will often block you to provoke an emotional reaction. They are typically happy with any emotional reaction, but they would prefer a fawn response where you chase after them, apologize, and beg for their love and approval back. This feeds their need for attention, validating their self-worth by confirming that you are emotionally invested and dependent on them, despite how they treat you. By cutting you off, they aim to provoke feelings of loss, rejection, and abandonment to leverage your emotional response to maintain their control over the relationship. Then they will come back around to gauge your reaction; they might come back just to provoke more conflict, chaos, and confusion, or it may be a hoovering attempt.
Number 6: For Secrecy and Distance.
Sometimes, a narcissist will suddenly pick a fight and block you to allow them to engage with other sources of supply without repercussions. It allows them to distance themselves from you temporarily and avoid any accountability for their actions during the fake breakup. Blocking you temporarily allows them to communicate with others without you finding out, and it can also ensure that their other sources of supply don’t find out about you. So, it gives them the freedom to do what they want without responsibility or confrontation. Once they’ve had their fun, they will unblock you, and it’s game on. If you question their actions while you are blocked, they will act like you are crazy to think that they need to answer to you during a breakup.
Number 7: To Condition You.
Narcissists block and unblock you as a way to condition you to wait and wonder about their return. Over time, this pattern trains you to adjust your behavior to accommodate their unpredictability and to always stay in their orbit, hoping for reconciliation.
Number 8: Lack of Emotional Maturity.
Narcissists don’t have the emotional maturity to break up in healthy ways, so they sidestep any emotional aspects of a breakup. For a well-adjusted person, this typically involves introspection and accountability. Instead, a narcissist will block you, often with little or no explanation, robbing you of any sense of understanding or closure, and quickly move on to their next source of supply, who usually is already waiting in the wings. Then, when things don’t work out with the new person, they unblock you to see if you’re still open to providing them with narcissistic supply, often while they’re looking for other supply.
Number 9: Reputation Management.
Image is everything to a narcissist. By blocking you, they shape the story about the breakup, safeguarding their public persona and ensuring that they are seen in the way they want to be perceived by their social circle. This could mean portraying themselves as a victim or portraying themselves as decisively moving on happily without you. Either way, this tactic allows them to preserve whatever image and reputation they’ve worked so hard to create. When they unblock you, it might be to reassess whether their narrative is holding up or to gauge reactions from mutual acquaintances. The cycle of blocking and unblocking serves to manipulate how others perceive them and the circumstances of the breakup. It’s a strategic move to maintain their facade of superiority, keep their reputation intact, and deflect any criticism from their social circle.
Number 10: Impulsivity.
Narcissists often act impulsively, especially when their emotions are heightened. Their black-and-white thinking leads them to swiftly vilify you when they’re angry or hurt. Blocking you can be a spontaneous reaction driven by their struggle to maintain whole object relations and to process negative emotions in a healthy manner. Then, when they calm down, they may unblock you and act as though nothing happened, or act like you deserved it, and now you should be grateful for the opportunity to make it up to them.
So, it’s very common for narcissists to block and unblock their exes. I’m not saying that if you’ve blocked an ex, you’re a narcissist, but if this is a common thing for you to do, you really should reflect on your level of emotional maturity and the underlying motivations for blocking and unblocking people. You’ll also want to learn better ways to manage your emotions and communicate your needs so that you can maintain healthier relationships.
While it’s important to research narcissism and narcissistic abuse in order to understand what you’re dealing with and what to do about it, it can also lead to spending way too much time and energy analyzing every detail of your experience and becoming obsessed with understanding the narcissist’s behaviors and motives, which can ultimately prevent you from focusing on your own healing and recovery.
Sharing Is Caring!
Leave a Comment