How Narcissists React When You Ignore Them -

Narcissists love to play games. They love attention and would do just about anything to get it. One of the ways they do it is by pulling away from someone to see how much they can get that person to chase after them. So, when the Narcissist starts ignoring your calls or text messages, it is all intentional. When they go quiet or disappear on you, it is all intentional and a sign that the Narcissist wants to be chased.

If you have read my article on “When the Narcissist Ignores You,” I made it clear that the best thing you can do is make their absence or silence permanent by not chasing after them and blocking them. But when you do not chase after the Narcissist, what happens next? What is their response?

Today, I have five reactions of the Narcissist when you don’t chase them. Their response is highly dependent on a few factors, such as who you are to them, what stage of the relationship you are at, and what investments they have made in you.

1. Hoovering.

The first possible reaction of the Narcissist may be to Hoover. They will want to find out what is going on. Why did you not chase them? They may turn up unexpectedly in places you frequent, trying to get your attention and even love-bomb their way back into your sweet graces. When a Narcissist starts chasing you again after you refuse to chase them, it means that you still have something they want and that this game of cat and mouse is not the best course of action to manipulate you.

2. smear campaign.

The second thing the Narcissist can decide to do is carry out a smear campaign to punish you. This is where they spread lies or rumors to manipulate and turn others against you. Because you not chasing them is a sign that they do not control you or that they are not a priority in your life, the smear campaign allows the Narcissist to have some sense of control if they can affect how others view you or treat you.

For More: How Narcissists React When They Think You’re too Strong.

3. Moving On.

The third thing they may do is lose interest, meaning they just move on to someone else who would validate them and give them the attention they need, as you are not prepared to do so. By not chasing them, the Narcissist may conclude that you may not be worth their time and that there is someone else out there who would do what you would not do. The Narcissist gets a huge ego boost out of being chased and will happily discard someone if they think they can find someone better to feed their ego.

4. Anger and Retaliation.

The fourth reaction of the Narcissist to not being chased is anger and retaliation. Not chasing them could have caused a Narcissistic Injury because the Narcissist thinks of you as a nobody, and how dare you not chase them! They clearly expected you to be groveling at their heels, begging them to talk to you again. The Narcissist cannot handle being rejected, especially by someone who they think is significantly below them. They may lash out at you, blame you, belittle you, or insult you every chance they get. More often than not, when you do not respond the way a Narcissist wants you to, they will look to punish you for it.

5. Indifference.

The fifth and final way the Narcissist may respond is indifference. They ignored you first. You did not chase them, so they carry on as if you do not exist, meaning no attempts to make contact and no attempts to Hoover. They act as if it is not a big deal, and they are just carrying on with their lives. The reality is that the Narcissist is holding out to see who can ignore whom the longest. They may secretly believe that you need them more than they need you, and it will just be a matter of time before you break your silence.

Their non-reaction is their way of making you feel insignificant in hopes of luring you back into seeking their approval. But it is best to never go back, as the Narcissist will only be filled with resentment and a need for punishing you for taking so long.

To conclude, Narcissists are emotional predators, and when you do not play these emotional games with the Narcissist, you have to make up your mind to disconnect; otherwise, you are at risk of being hoovered or a target for revenge. Therefore, when dealing with a Narcissist, you have to prioritize your own mental health and accept that life would be a lot better if this person was not in it. If you cannot cut them off completely, just create some serious distance and boundaries between the both of you. It is not worth engaging with a Narcissist in their toxic games. Never chase them or seek their approval or validation because it will only give them more control over you.

That is it for today. Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below, and if you found this article useful, please do not forget to share wherever you can. As always, have a blessed week, and many thanks for reading.

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