One of the most damaging effects of narcissistic abuse is that it robs you of your good night’s sleep. Getting enough good-quality sleep is crucial because it helps your body and mind recover, improves your mood, and boosts overall health and well-being. However, ongoing stress, emotional chaos, and mind games leave your mind constantly buzzing and your body on high alert. Below are 10 ways narcissistic abuse affects sleep patterns and some tips to overcome them.
1. PTSD symptoms!
Narcissistic abuse can mess with your sleep, making it feel like you’re stuck in a never-ending horror movie. Imagine trying to rest, but those flashbacks hit like surprise jump scares, turning your bed into a battleground. Nightmares become routine, and insomnia makes counting sheep seem like a full-time job. Dr. Judith Herman says trauma messes with your stress response, keeping you on edge and ruining your sleep. To tackle this, consider seeing a therapist who specializes in trauma or PTSD. They can offer strategies like cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), which helps with sleep problems related to PTSD.
2. Cognitive Dissonance.
Imagine lying in bed trying to sleep, but your mind is spinning because of all the confusing stuff the narcissist made you believe. That’s cognitive dissonance. You’re stuck between what you know is true and the lies you’ve been told. Gaslighting makes you doubt your reality, leaving you mentally conflicted and restless. Dr. Robin Stern explains that your confusion doesn’t just disappear at bedtime; it keeps you awake and disrupts your sleep. To help with this, try reality checking by talking things over with a trusted friend or therapist. They can give you an objective view and help you separate what’s real from what’s been distorted.
3. Sleep Paralysis.
Imagine lying in bed, drifting off to sleep, and suddenly feeling like you can’t move, even if you want to scream or wake up. That’s sleep paralysis, and it’s more common when you’re stressed out, especially from something like narcissistic abuse. When you’re under constant stress, your brain doesn’t get the memo to fully relax, even during sleep. According to sleep expert Dr. Matthew Walker, stress can lead to sleep disruptions, making sleep paralysis more likely. It’s like your mind and body are out of sync, causing you to wake up but still feel trapped in a paralyzed state. This terrifying experience can leave you feeling even more anxious, creating a cycle where fear of sleep keeps you awake, further harming your sleep hygiene. Listen closely: if you experience sleep paralysis, try to remain calm and focus on slow, deep breathing. Remind yourself that it will pass and that it’s a temporary state. This can help reduce the fear and anxiety during the episode.
4. Elevated Cortisol Levels.
Cortisol is often called the stress hormone. When you’re dealing with narcissistic abuse, you’re under constant stress, and this can crank up your cortisol levels. Dr. Robert Sapolsky, a renowned stress researcher, explains that high cortisol levels can mess with your body’s ability to regulate sleep. Essentially, when your stress is off the charts, your body stays in a fight-or-flight mode, making it hard for you to wind down and get a good night’s rest. It’s like your body is stuck in overdrive, making it nearly impossible to relax and fall asleep. This elevated cortisol can lead to tossing and turning, frequent awakenings, and just overall poor sleep hygiene. Take note of this: reduce or eliminate caffeine and other stimulants, particularly in the hours leading up to bedtime. Stimulants can increase cortisol production and interfere with your ability to fall asleep.
5. Adrenal Fatigue.
Let’s talk about adrenal fatigue, which happens when your body’s stress levels are just too high for too long. If you’re dealing with narcissistic abuse, you’re likely under a lot of stress, which can wear out your adrenal glands. According to Dr. James Wilson, author of Adrenal Fatigue: The 21st Century Stress Syndrome, this constant strain eventually leaves your adrenal glands begging for a break, which messes with your sleep. You might feel exhausted but still have trouble falling or staying asleep because your body’s stress response is out of balance. This chronic stress essentially makes your sleep patterns go haywire, leading to restless nights and poor sleep hygiene. Listen closely to this helpful tip: implement stress reduction techniques to help alleviate the constant strain on your adrenals. Practices like mindfulness, meditation, and yoga can help calm your stress response and restore balance.
6. Increased Heart Rate.
If you’re dealing with narcissistic abuse, your anxiety levels might be through the roof, and this can make your heart race, even when you’re trying to relax. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a trauma expert, points out that high anxiety can trigger your body’s stress response, causing your heart rate to speed up. Let me teach you something: deep breathing helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which can slow your heart rate and promote relaxation. Try breathing in deeply through your nose for a count of four, holding for a count of four, and exhaling slowly through your mouth for a count of four. Repeat this several times until you feel calmer.
7. Muscle Tension.
When you’re under the strain of narcissistic abuse, stress can make your muscles tense up like a coiled spring. This muscle tension can be a real pain, making it tough for you to relax and get a good night’s sleep. Dr. Peter Levine, a trauma expert, explains that chronic stress keeps your body in a constant state of readiness, which means your muscles are always on edge. This physical tension can prevent your body from unwinding properly, making it harder for you to fall asleep and stay asleep. So even if you’re lying in bed trying to rest, the tight muscles can keep you feeling restless and uncomfortable. You might want to consider this: applying heat to tense muscles can help increase blood flow and relax tight muscles. Consider using a heating pad, a warm towel, or taking a warm bath before bed to soothe your muscles.
8. Uncomfortable Sleep Spaces.
When you’ve been through narcissistic abuse, even your sleep space can turn into a source of stress. Your bed feels like a battlefield; it’s like trying to relax in a room that feels like it’s under constant surveillance. This feeling of unsafety keeps your mind on edge, making it impossible to truly unwind. So instead of sinking into a cozy bed, you’re lying there, hyper-aware of every creak and shadow. It’s no surprise you’re struggling to get any rest with all that anxiety lurking around. Listen closely: consider ways to make your space feel more secure. This might include using a lock on your bedroom door or arranging furniture in a way that makes you feel more protected.
9. Nighttime Conflicts.
Imagine finally getting some sleep, only for your abuser to wake you up in the middle of the night, demanding a dramatic showdown over something that could have waited until morning. It’s like your bed turns into a front-row seat for the world’s worst late-night talk show, and you’re stuck as the unwilling guest. Dr. Alice Miller, a well-known psychologist, highlights how these disruptions keep your body in a state of high alert, making it tough for you to fall back asleep. Aim to address and resolve conflicts during the day rather than letting them spill over into nighttime. This can prevent the buildup of unresolved issues that may lead to nighttime confrontations.
10. Sleep Apnea.
Dealing with narcissistic abuse can mess with your sleep in some seriously bizarre ways. Take sleep apnea, for instance. When you’re stressed out, your body can’t seem to keep its breathing in check while you’re snoozing. It’s like your body has its idea of a midnight workout. Instead of dreaming peacefully, you’re gasping for air. Dr. Norman W. Edelman, an expert on sleep disorders, explains that high stress can make your muscles tense and affect how your airway stays open. For diagnosed sleep apnea, a continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) machine can help keep your airway open during sleep. Your healthcare provider can guide you on its use and benefits.
Narcissistic abuse can mess with your sleep in a lot of ways, hitting you mentally, emotionally, and physically. When you’re constantly dealing with this kind of abuse, getting a good night’s sleep feels almost impossible. This creates a never-ending cycle of bad sleep and worsening health. Realizing how this abuse affects your sleep is the first step in starting to heal and improve your sleep patterns.
Read More: Why Narcissistic Abuse Causes Victims to Neglect Self Care.
Sharing Is Caring!
Leave a Comment